be JOYFUL in hope, PATIENT in affliction, FAITHFUL in prayer.

This scripture from Romans 12: 12 is a verse we listed in the "Our Favorite Things" section of our adoption profile. Today, we are living this scripture more than ever in our adoption journey.

At about 10 a.m. Friday, June 10th, we got a call from our adoption facilitator informing us of an urgent birthmother situation. The birthmother is a young woman who is pregnant with a baby girl. She is alone with no birthfather or family support. The baby's estimated due date is July 3rd...that's right...in 3 weeks! The pregnancy is already full term so it can happen even sooner. Another surprise is that the birthmother lives only 1 hour away from us. After giving more details about the birthmother situation, they asked if we would be open to accept. Of course we said "YES" without hesitation! This is what we've been waiting for!!...oh myyyy...is it really happening??? We're going to be parents!! I was beyond ecstatic! I called my mom, sister, mother-in-law, and shared the good news with several of our close friends who have been our supporters and asked them to keep us, but especially the birthmother and baby in their prayer. They were all so happy for us.

There were going to be arrangements that needed to be made quickly considering the close due date but we're ready to do whatever necessary to make this happen. We were referred to an adoption lawyer right away and were in communication with our home study provider to make sure everything will be in place before the baby is born.

We were walking on air the whole weekend. We made a mental list of essentials things we still needed to prepare for the baby, cleaned and re-arranged our bedroom, and assembled the crib. We had planned a trip to Las Vegas next weekend but decided not to go so we can be on stand-by in case she goes into labor. Steve was so adorable -- he googled to find out the statistics of women who give birth between 37 and 40 weeks gestation.

At 1 p.m. Monday, June 13th, I got a call at work from the adoption facilitator letting us know that the birthmother's parents found out about the pregnancy and they are not supportive of her adoption plans so the adoption will not move forward.

I knew going into any match situation that there's always a possibility a birthmother can change her mind. I remind myself that nothing is 100% until all the paperwork are signed. I've read articles and heard testimonies about waiting families who experienced the same disappointment to be educated. And I always told myself that if this was to happen to us, I would handle it just fine. So I wasn't quite prepared for what I felt after I hung up the phone. It was like I was in another dream and I haven't woken up yet from the other dream that started just 72 hours earlier.

I called Steve to tell him what happened. I tried to stay strong over the phone but tears started flowing and my voice cracked. I'm so blessed to have Steve. He was so sweet and gentle. He kept telling me that it's ok, we're going to be ok. This just isn't our time yet and if this baby will have her birthmother and family take care of her then that's a good thing. God will give us another match and it will happen, we will have a baby one day. I completely agree with everything he said but at that very moment, I couldn't help but feel a deep sense of loss. I didn't realize in 72 hours I had fallen in love with this baby already. In the back of my mind, I have pictured meeting her for the first time, holding her, giving her a bath, planning her 1st birthday party...

I was teary on and off throughout the day but feel so blessed to have our family and friends supporting, praying, and cheering for us. I can only pray and ask God to bless this birthmother and her baby so they can be loved and accepted unconditionally. Steve and I are staying positive...there is no anger or blame or questions why this has to happen. We truly believe God has a beautiful plan and He will unite us with our baby in His time.

In the meantime, our gestation continues...

On a lighter subject, one positive that came out of this situation is that we finally broke out the crib box that's been sitting in the garage for almost 1 year. Since I love to document everything, here are some pictures of Steve hard at work assembling the crib.

Let's unpack!
Hmmm...let's see...Step 1...Almost there...

One final tightening...and it's done! I'm so proud of my hubby! :)

Summing up 2010

I cannot believe it's the last day of 2010. Time just flew by! I think one of our New Year's Resolution for 2011 is to update this blog more often. In the mean time, here are little snippets of our adoption journey and milestones in 2010.

JANUARY

Adoption Update
We spent several late nights assembling and binding our 50 profiles. Since Steve is NOT crafty, I put him in charge of cutting ribbons and prepping the assembly line. Then I made the bows and complete the binding. I think they came out soooo cute! We shipped our special package to Lifetime Adoption Center at the end of January.

FEBRUARY

Adoption Update
Lifetime received our profiles and Dee, our adoption coordinator started presenting our profile to birth parents. So excited!

Rosa's 1 Year Anniversary
Hard to believe it's been one year since my sister's passing. Our family held a memorial to celebrate and remember Rosa. She loved lady bugs so a good friend of Rosa's made the most adorable Lady Bug party favors from cupcakes.


MARCH

Adoption Update
We finally mailed out our Home Study paperwork to The Family Network, our Home Study provider. We both had to redo our LifeScan fingerprints for the FBI because they weren't clear enough. Mine was approved the 2nd time but Steve got another rejection so that delayed us for a little bit. But we were still able to schedule an appointment for a home visit and interview with a Social Worker.

Welcome Samuel
God blessed us with a new godchild Samuel who's baptized on March 20.


APRIL

Adoption Update
We completed the home visit and 5-hour interview with Kitaho, our Social Worker. This was the time when we realized there are sooo many baby safety products out there that it's a miracle we both survived childhood! :) Kitaho was super sweet so that helped calm our nerves. We were exhausted by the end that we forgot to take a picture with her. Bummer! :(

Steve's Mom's Birthday at The Huntington Library
For Steve's mom's birthday, all the children decided to surprise her with a day at The Huntington Library and Botanical Gardens. She's been wanting to go for quite some time so we thought it was the perfect gift for her. It was a beautiful Spring day!


MAY

Adoption Update
Lifetime Adoption received a copy of our completed Home Study. We're officially done with this portion of the paperwork process. Yeay!

Mother's Day and Steve's Birthday
May is also a special month - it's Mother's Day and Steve's Birthday. Since they're several days apart, we decided to do a double celebration luncheon and I made traditional Indonesian dishes.


JUNE

Adoption Update
Since we finished the paperwork, we didn't really do anything this month. It felt kind of weird but I think this is the waiting time we've been hearing about. So we just have to be patient and let God do the rest.

Big Bear and Regina's Mom's & Steve's Dad's Birthday
Believe it or not, Steve's dad and my mom share the same birthday! Steve's dad celebrated in Indonesia. We spent a relaxing weekend at a resort in Big Bear for my mom's birthday. We took a stroll to the lake, played ping-pong and pool, and fired up the grill for some yummy Korean BBQ. :)

JULY

Adoption Update
Again, there's nothing much to do on the paperwork side but I was feeling the itch to start preparing and get the essentials for the baby. So we started researching for a safe crib and crib bedding ensemble. We actually purchased the first item for the baby during our vacation - a bumble bee pillow and blanket from My Pillow Pets. I've been fixated on all things bumble bees so I just couldn't help it when I saw them. Steve just smiles and lets me pick out anything! I LOVE HIM! :)

Central Coast Vacation
After all the hard work and time we put into finishing the home study we were in need of a little getaway. So we spent several days exploring the Central Coast.

Here are some of our favorite shots from the trip.





And...this is my ultimate favorite shot from our trip! It was close to sunset and we were at a Lavender Farm. From where we were standing, I saw our shadow on the ground directly in front of this big oak tree so I immediately told Steve to snap a picture.

AUGUST

Adoption Update
The crib and crib bedding set arrived! We ended up choosing Graco Shelby 4-in-1 Classic Crib in Dark Walnut and Kidsline "Cute As Can Bee" crib bedding set.

The boxes are still in the garage...that's another resolution for 2011 - assemble the crib! :) Stay tuned!


SEPTEMBER

Adoption Update

When Steve and I began the adoption process we were open to future contact with the birthmother via letters and photos only. We were afraid that having visits would interfere with our parenting and may confuse the child. Or maybe it was fear from seeing adoption nightmares portrayed in the media.

One of the things available to us as a Lifetime family is access to their monthly teleconference. We listened to a few testimonials from birthmothers and adoptive parents about the nature of their relationship during the pregnancy and after placement. The more we listen, the more certain it became to us that being open to visits was going to be an important part of the baby's life, and gives peace of mind to both the birthmother and adoptive parents. It's a win-win-win situation.

I also found out that one of my co-workers was adopted through closed adoption. She was very open and shared some of her struggles growing up not knowing any background about her birth family, even though she loves her parents very much. She said knowing something would've given her some direction when she was looking into a major in college.

Thank God for giving an open door again for us. So, we informed Lifetime that we are now open to future contact with visits once or twice a year.

Regina's Birthday & Our 6th Wedding Anniversary
God granted me another year on earth! :) As a birthday resolution, I wanted to start eating healthier so the day after my birthday, I joined a 21-Day Vegan challenge. What was I thinking! But, I succeeded and have continued to eat mostly vegan and feel really great!

We are also grateful for six wonderful years of married life. We spent the day in Santa Monica and had dinner at a vegan Japanese restaurant in LA to celebrate our love.



OCTOBER

Adoption Update
The agency has recommended that we have an adoption outreach card to expand our outreach to potential birthmothers. Now that we are set on our contact preferences, I'm excited to begin designing our customized adoption outreach card.

Welcome Rainer
We're blessed yet again with a new godchild, Rainer, who's baptized on Oct. 17.

NOVEMBER

Adoption Update

We finished designing Adoption Outreach Cards and sent it for printing.

Regina's Dad's Birthday
My dad turned 65 and was so proud to become a senior citizen. He couldn't wait to start taking advantage of the senior citizen discounts...hahaha :)

DECEMBER

Adoption Update
We received our Adoption Outreach Cards from the printer. Will be mailing them to Lifetime soon!

Godfamily Weekend
We feel terrible that sometimes we don't get the chance to spend time with them due to distance and everyone having a busy family life. We've been thinking about planning a day or weekend where we can have the godchildren and parents come together. We felt that it's important for them to get to know each other and feel that we're all part of one big God family. It took a couple months of planning but we're so grateful that the families in CA were all available so we had our first get-together this year with four of our godchildren and family. We have another four godchildren currently living in Indonesia and one in Portland. We pray one day God will give us a chance to have everyone together. We also invited the godparents we have chosen for our future baby.

Here are some pictures from the weekend.

We thought this was the perfect time to give the children their Christmas gift. Regina found the cutest sock monkeys (although some are not actual monkeys :P) so we got one for each child and put together a goodies basket. Then we placed each basket on their bed so the kids would see them as soon as they walk into their room.

The resort we stayed at had a lazy river so we spent the afternoon floating around and swimming.

We celebrated Sunday Mass at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church and took a group photo.

We ended the weekend by visiting The Living Desert Zoo and Botanical Gardens. The kids were super energized and we loved seeing them have so much fun together. It was a lovely weekend!

Christmas
Steve's dad is visiting for a few weeks to spend the holidays with the family. We hosted the family dinner on Christmas Eve. In keeping with a healthier lifestyle, I decided to create a healthy menu - mostly vegan and gluten-free and dairy-free. I had a lot of fun in the kitchen cooking for the family. We were all stuffed at the end...but in a somewhat 'guilt-free' way...hahaha

We finished another eventful year. We wish you and your family a Happy New Year full of hope, good health, and prosperity!

SO LONG 2010...WELCOME 2011!!

Lots of love,
Regina & Steve